The Hounds from Hell

I’m not sure if it’s the onset of the holiday season or the fact that my reproductive system is entering the end of the line…but this last week, I’ve been feeling really low and fucking crabby.

As my daughter so eloquently put it, my eggs are dying.

I know that it’s totally normal and everything.

Tis’ nature and shit.

Perimenopause! Google explained everything the other day when I asked why, for the last year or so, my downstairs mix-up’s been acting wonky ass batshit.

I’ve been blessed my entire life with mostly short periods with minimal misery. Even the last few months have been really chill. I’ve skipped a month here and there, a couple weeks of spotting, and even two somewhat normal periods within one month’s time.

Go to hell…wait…

This past Monday, though, my dwindling hormones have unleashed the hounds from hell upon me. No, I am not being overly dramatic either. I could’ve sworn that I heard howling the other night.

I had to send my daughter to the drugstore to buy some mega heavy-duty maxi-pads because my usual ones weren’t doing the trick.

Daughter: Do you want period underwear?

Me: What? No. Yeah, no. Just the long overnight ones with the highest number and best absorption rate.

(Mumbling to myself…geez ass. I don’t need any stinking diapers, for fuck sake.)

Daughter: You sure?

Me: Yes!!!

She had to go to the area of the store that actually does sell adult diapers to locate what I had asked for. These suckers are large, long and in charge, not to mention expensive.

Bulky. Which is the same thing as large. I’m allowed to repeat myself, I’m suffering here!


I wish my mom were here so that she could comfort me during this nasty, unpleasant process. Shit, I just wish that she were still here in general…but there are times when I really need my mommy extra badly.

She’d find a way to make me laugh…after she was done laughing at my utter disgust with this bullshit. 

It’s messing with my mood. I’m so afraid that the positive effects of the TMS treatments are already starting to wear off. I need to get myself back on track with a new shrink and therapist pronto.

Well, if you’ll excuse me, I think I need to go use the facilities again for the 33rd time today. I need to check on something…


  1. Oh, honey, I know what you are going through. Go get you some Saint John’s Wort. I will help a lot with the ‘crabbies”. Or mood swings. I took it when I was going through that hell. My menopause lasted almost 20 years. So if any dr says ‘oh don’t worry it’ll only last a year or two’, kick them and tell them to ask around because for the most part that shit ain’t true.

    Give yourself plenty of patience, Mer. You are not in control of your body right now. Don’t be hard on yourself. And period underwear is like wearing regular panties my granddaughter has assured me. LOL I just thank the powers that be I’m done with all that crap and have been for years. But if you ever want to talk, bitch or ask advice, I’m always around. ❤

    Liked by 1 person

    • Thanks, Jackie. ❤ I'd write more but I'm feeling pretty crappy at the moment. I've been having one physical ailment after another lately and it's pissing me off.


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