Mom

Two years ago tomorrow, I lost my best friend, my rock, my biggest fan and the one person who loved me without limits.

Due to the recent fading of my shellac made of numbness, I feel her absence more intensely than I did a year ago. I feel more alone now in this world than I ever have before. People have always seemed to easily drop me like a hot potato. But no matter what happened between us, I always knew that at least she’d have my back and would never abandon me intentionally.

I’m not going to drone on and on, mostly because I’m super depressed. I’ll share a couple of pictures of her, back to happier times.

Even before cellphones, I loved taking pictures of people when they were least expecting it. This was either the day of my graduation or hers. We both graduated (me from high school, her from community college) in 1992. She was talking on the phone, smoking a cigarette when I snapped this shot of her. She was still young, around my age now, mid-40’s.

This was on her graduation day. I had her pose by the back steps of our house. She looked so proud and she had every right to feel that way. She somehow managed to become an RN while raising my younger brother and myself. For this reason, she’ll always be my hero. After my dad died, my mom took a year off and partied often, then got her GED, enrolled in school and kicked ass.

I always knew that it’d be damn hard losing her. I just didn’t realize that the full pain of it would come later on.

I miss you, momma. I can’t wait until the day that we can be together again.

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